indecision

The last trace of visitors are all but gone and the house is silent (ahhh!) and empty. The only sounds from this apartment are Sex and the City reruns, my boyfriend snoring on the couch and the clanging of coins being emptied from the piggy bank by my son. Another Gathering of Nations weekend comes to a close and I can only imagine the feeling of relief my auntie Cindy must have felt every year when family came to stay.

All weekend, I anxiously contemplated my sewing. The patterns, fabrics, thoughts of "I could be sewing right now!" And now, now that I have the time, nothing.  Indecision runs in my family, unfortunately, from obviously simple decisions like picking a pattern, deciding what size to cut (should my size change, ahhh wishful thinking), fabric choices, to deciding my career path.

I've recently applied for a job doing something I love (sewing) and have been asked to interview. I'm positive a lot of people would find this position of less "status" compared to my current job and I'd say with confidence that I consider myself at the very lowest rung of the ladder at this point. Not to demean my position, or anybody else who works there, but trying to validate what I call "defensive customer service" as more respectable is difficult. The decision to leave my current job (and possible happiness, satisfaction, etc.) or to stay, has been clanging around in my brain like those coins in the piggybank since last Thursday. To make it worse, my decisions usually depend on the opinions of other important people in my life and when they don't approve, it makes choosing what I want a lot harder.

It seems like the only safe thing to do right now is sew.

Comments

Popular Posts